ive always had this habit of making a wish everytime i happened to catch the clock in significant numbers


tonight, i caught it at 1:11, but i had no wish to actually wish for
for once, it got me questioning myself "what can i even wish for?"
i think i should break this habit of mine because wishes dont come true eventually.



but then if i were to tell you, one came true few months back
how believable can that get?

life and their wishes.
haiya.
sucha a waste of time to even think about it.

yayayayayaya.

i think too much lahhh.

and killing a conversation on me once, its ok

do it twice its acceptable

do it thrice well, im fine with that

do it occasionally, then lets just say,

as easy it is for me to let my guards down when im with you,

it's even easier to build this 5 inch shell around me.


oh and i have pictures to update from last friday.
but im lazy, i guess i'll do it later or maybe another day.

[/edited]

eh you know how sometimes i get this feeling

like i want to stop liking things i actually like

like how i want to stop this 60an gerek gerek thingy

i want to stop buying clothes deemed to be on the top ten looks for the season bla bla bla

i want to stop trying to have hairstyles everyone's having

i want to stop trying to look different

i want to stop trying to do my hair up

i want to stop having the latest jeans

i want to stop all this

and the thing about looking different, to look unique

everyone's trying to achieve that look

so if everyone's trying to look different

even different becomes the same.

agree?

what's the purpose huh?

to look good?

to be a fashion slave?

to try not to look like everyone else out there?

for who?

for myself?

for someone?

if its for myself, doing all that wont help.

if its for someone else, its not working.

i want to be a simple girl, for once.

i want to be a quiet girl, for once.

i want to be a basic t-shirt and jeans kinda girl, for once.

i want to keep everything to myself, for once.

i want to laugh only when everyone's laughing, for once.

i want to talk only if someone talks to me, for once.

i dont want to try starting a conversation.

i dont want to try to crack a stupid joke.

i dont want to ..

haiya.

i want to be the girl that i am,

each time im alone at orchard library.

with a book in my hand.

ears plugged in.

and drinking hot chocolate from a cup

having cheesecake on my own.

not noticing my surrounding.

not trying to impress anyone.

ah this kind of entries comes when i dont even feel good about myself.

so forget it.